Miar's Thoughts of Today

[ringmasterrob]

I wondered what other people thought of this article. I for one think it isn't much. The dream idea is fairly unpleasent but it does sound like a part of a plot for the terminator movies.
There is little in the way of putting your point across with reasoning, rather bemoaning the fact that people have critised you opinions rather than offering much in the way of you own ideas.
Clearly you are capable of good, solid debating as you have done in this forum. If you could write an article giving views and ideas rather than sounding like a doomsayer prediciting the apocolypse. Offer something more constructive than just excusing the war on terroism in such an odd way.
When you said you were writing an article I looked forward to hearing some of your views as a supporter of the war and seeing how well a pro-war person could justify it. Instead I get 'The End Is Nigh, all is lost.'
So I will not hide my disappointment in this article and I urge you to use more of the intellectual and interesting views and ideas you post in these forums rather than bizzare predicitons in your next article.

[TheCritique]

Would all members please rate the article out of ***** in the articles section. Thankyou for helping.

[ringmasterrob]

Rating given. I am sorry to be so negative about Miar's article but I am only this negative because I know he is capable of much much better than this. Give it more time and effort and try adding some more debate and something interesting.

[loremastermiar]

Perhaps if you had taken a little more time to read my posts, then you would not have been so abrupt to judge. This is not a political bashing or something about fruit. It is about what I see for the future of this world, if it continues to go the way it is. This article does not require debate or questions about issues. It is from the heart.

This article reflects what has been mostly on my mind of late, it is an opinion of what will happen to the future. When I wrote it, I knew that I could easily draw up a well debated issue, and place it on the table for you, but I believe that that would not have been true to what I believe in. It reflects the truth of 9/11, and how for the first time, I saw things that frightened me. They were not dreams or half chased fantasies. It was real. It that moment terrorism crossed into the 21st century.

For the fist time I saw, things that were like events I had read about, and yet here they were unfolding right before my eyes. That article, tells of a dream I had, when I was staying with my extended family, shortly after the attacks. There was talk of WW3, I had seen, as with many of my friends, the horrors of both those terrible conflicts. The horrific thought dawned on me that another one of these gargantuan conflicts might emerge. The fact that I might lose my family and everything I hold dear to me, well, it scrared me. I terrified, and I still am. This is 'from the heart.'

You call me a Prophet of the Doom. The Forbearer of the Apoclypse? Prehaps sitting at home, has dulled your mind to the world outside. I don't care about showing off my ability as a writer. This is an opinion, and the very reason I stated directly to YOU, was that I would write a passage to explain my views. It is not an article, it is just one of the many possibilities, that could occur in the next fifty years. I suspected that I may have been called paranoid, and a fool. A man obsessed with the Terminator films.

'So I will not hide my disappointment in this article and I urge you to use more of the intellectual and interesting views and ideas you post in these forums rather than bizzare predicitons in your next article.'

I did not write this for your amusement, I wrote it to put across a serious point. That this world, is despite what man may say, on the brink of war. I know you to be preacher of peace, and so I think that you of all people, Robert, will know what will happen of this plant, if pushed over the edge. Well, you have gotten your explaination, and that's all there is to it.

[ringmasterrob]

'I think you of all people, Robert, will know what will happen of this plant, if pushed over the edge'
What plant? Where does a plant come into this?
On the other issues I think this 'passage' isn't particularly good because although the world is at a bad state then things have been much worse in the past, what about the Cuban Missile Crisis? The closest the world ever came to destruction. I believe you to be a bearer of doom with this passage. It is best not to read too much into your dreams, I have had many bad dreams but I pay them no heed. If this 'passage' was not for our amusement or interest then it serves no purpose. This site is for amusing, interesting and debating articles. All I am saying is that surely you have better things to say in your article (and this is from personal experience) than ranting about a bad dream. What you say about 9/11 is true but you give little information to be worthy of it. The whole 'passage' does come across as a doom, doom, doom style idea. If you were to write another I would hope it would be a little better, something more fitting to the political/satirical theme. I admit fresh fruit is not best suited but thecritique chose to put it on here and I don't mind him doing so.

[TheCritique]

So far (excusing Penfawld's articles) I have uploaded everything sent to me. This is simply because I need to keep visitors entertained. I spent all my time on PC for my article for the launch. I had Anti-Townie Bible prepared (will be back soon), and I needed something else. While digging through my archives of everything I stumbled onto those old US Fresh Fruit articles. I had to put them online.

Even if Miar's article came accross as a doomsday prediction, and he could have done better, he had spent time writing it, and I needed another article. It deserved to be read.

[ringmasterrob]

I am not at all suggesting the removal of the article, merely stating my critisms of it and my own opinion. It's a review of his article not a request for its removal. No personal offence intended.

[TheCritique]

I have no problems with you being negative. You are correct to state your views. Loremaster seems to have a problem though.

[ringmasterrob]

Well he should learn that EVERYONE is entitled to an opinon no matter what he thinks.

[JAllen]

Why is this topic here can I find out please because I would like to comment on it but I don't know what this is all about

[electronico1995]

Well, if you don't know, then read the TITLE, and then read the ARTICLE on the front page.

[TheCritique]

Jammie, you are dishounouring any intellegence you have. Electronico has put it correctly: read the title, and you may notice that there is an article on the articles page (link on top frame, see!) reading 'Miar's thoughts of today'. Click on the link (using fingers and the mouse (doesn't really look like a mouse)). Read (using your eyes) the words (things containing letters) on the page displayed, and you might understand what we are discussing here.

[ringmasterrob]

Try using your brain eh Jammie?

[HStorm]

I have to agree wholeheartedly with Rob. The article is sadly unpolished, riddled with grammatical and spelling errors, and is largely emotion and little solid fact. It's not even clear till near the very end what Miar was in fact discussing. It appears to be some kind of argument in favour of the war on terror but he doesn't really state any solid case in favour of it, merely that he agrees with it.

This is sad, because both sides of that particular argument can put forward solid reasons for the positions they take - the facts and information are there to be stated as long as the effort is made - and for some reason Miar seems to be putting forward an argument of "I'm in favour of the war because I'm living in my dreams." That's a pretty thin argument in favour, but made worse by the way he appears to contradict himself by telling us that he's in despair of the world being on the brink of war. So, you're saying we should fight a war as it's the only way of... preventing... war...? Um, what...?

And Rob's absolutely right, the world has known much darker times than now. Ever heard of World War II?

So I'm sorry, Miar, but may I recommend a full redraft? We're already aware that you're in favour of the War, we need to understand why you are. Also, It'd be a good idea to check your work more carefully before you submit it in future, and to correct spelling errors and other mistakes. They make your work look rushed and ill-thought-out.

[loremastermiar]

Thank you H-Storm, for your constructive criticism. I appreciate the feedback, and I am impressed to find it done in such a clear, controlled polite way. I have taken all comments on board, and yes, I will be redrafting the article. I must ask the Critique to remove it from the page, while I fine-tune it. However, fine-tune maybe a slight understatement!
I am one of those people who can write both emotional and factual pieces, but I do admit that this does not show the pinnacle of my ability. It was rushed, and as a result I feel it has suffered. There is no need to say that you are sorry, and I do appreciate your comments, and all of your suggestions. However please to give feedback on my other article. And I promise, I DID plan this one.
Thank you all, it is nice to receive information that will help me to improve my future contributions to this page.

Loremaster Miar

*Admin*: Article removed from homepage until further notice.

[HStorm]

That's excellent, Miar, thank you for taking the advice in good heart. I look forward to reading the new version.

[loremastermiar]

And thank you for your helpful comments. I shall look forward to your verdict. It is a pleasure to have a person of your level of intellect and character on this site. ;D

[TheCritique]

Loremaster, when do you think the redrafted version will be completed? Please give us your best estimates.

[loremastermiar]

Assuming my work load keeps down, it should return within a couple of weeks. I may do a COMPLETE overhall of the entire essay.

[The mekanik]

I think that none of you have really read into this article.

Sure it may not be really well written, But its the content that matters.

Sure it may have bad spelling, but as long as you can read it (unless your name is Liquidus) then thats not a problem

Sure it may be a prophecy of doom, but so what?

If you really read it then there is a deep message in there. Just like a book i have recently come into: 'If you are not shocked by this, then you have not trully understood it'

Please do not be so quick do damn mikes article. Sometimes it is nice to have a break from 100% serious, fact based articles. Mikes article is a much needed change of subject for the critique. And if you not are not ready to embrace it, thecritique will dry up and die just like tpwnn.

[HStorm]

*Sigh* Your argument contradicts itself.

I'm not saying that there isn't any depth or meaning to Mike's thoughts, but he fails to articulate them. How CAN we "read into" it when it's badly written? That's the whole point. It's impossible to read into something that's confused, rambling and difficult to follow, as it has no clear signal coming from it. Yes, content is what matters, but if it's badly written it's not good content. And bad spelling DOES matter. It makes a writer look lazy and stupid and gives the readers the impression that he probably doesn't care about what he's doing. So why should they bother reading it?

The article seemed very serious, in fact it was thoroughly depressive. And the point about it not being fact-based means that we have every right to say it's not good - if it's not based on fact then most of the conclusions in it will probably be wrong. (Not that there WERE any particularly obvious conclusions in it. As I say, it was confused and rambling.)

I'm not arguing against the article's subject matter or "prophecies of doom" per se, I'm just saying that it's poorly articulated and should have been redrafted several times before being submitted. What's more likely to cause Critique to "dry up and die" is a pre-dominance of badly-written articles that make readers switch off and go elsewhere.

As Mike's now agreed to do redraft it anyway, let's not argue about it.

[loremastermiar]

Look guys, I honestly do appreciate the comments, and I do thank the Mekanik for his support. But I to confess that this article does not show me and the peak of my writing ability. There is no problem here, and I am already beginning to brainstorm for the next one.
Once more I thank everyone for their support and comments, but I must ask Will to delete this topic, as there is no futher route for this discussion to take.
Thank you all again for your comments, the newest article on the War of Terrorism will be avaibable soon.
I wish you all a very nice day.
Regards
Loremaster Miar